The might of the mo

Australians clearly believe in the power of the Moustache. Not only do their fans still idolise players who once had the hirsute upper lip, but two of their selectors were these men. David Boon and Merv Hughes.

Cricket Australia believes in Merv's moustache so much that they don't even care that he doesn't have pay TV, and thusly can't see any overseas cricket he isn't touring for. That is some special moustache. Merv thinks that watching the cricket on TV is no substitute for being there. He could be right. However, it is surely 100 times better than getting all the information on other games from the selector who is there rather than seeing it with your eyes. Especially if the other selector has a hairless face.

Rather than cracking down on Merv for his poor viewing habits as a selector, or throwing him a couple of dollars for a pay-TV subscription, Cricket Australia is honouring Merv in November. In fact it is honouring all cricket moustaches and openly asking for all cricketers in Australia, regardless of their level, to grow a moustache.

It isn't just some sick obsession; it is for Movember, a charity that supports men's health. Apparently men hate talking about their health, or dealing with their health, but they love growing moustaches. I tried to grow one for last Movember; at the end of the month friends of mine kept forgetting that I was in Movember due to the lack of facial hair. I couldn't even pull off a Bruce Reid Wispy moustache.

While it is all for a good cause, it could also be a way of hardening up the national team from the grass roots on up. Australia has had three wicketkeepers break fingers in the last four months. None of these wicketkeepers had moustaches. Rod Marsh would not approve. Keepers have always broken fingers, but when Marsh was around that wouldn't stop them playing or attending to their facial hair.

With the current injuries and loss of the Ashes, the Australian team really need some masculinity and bristling moustache power. Lillee, Merv, Boonie, Marsh, Chappelli, and even crazy Max Walker, have moustached up in the past. When men were tough, and hairy. Some people seem to think that if Mitchell Johnson had a moustache instead of a tongue ring Australia might have won the Ashes.

Non-Australians have also used the moustache to command respect and records. Ian Botham and Kapil Dev fought for the ultimate allrounder's title while having excellent bristlers. Graham Gooch seemed to bring his moustache from another era. Jeremy Coney had a mo so grand that it was for a time national heritage-listed in New Zealand. I still weep when I see his naked lip. Then there is the master of the moustache, Richard Hadlee, who once insured his for 73 million dollars (that may not be true).

So moustaches are more than just Australian, they are for everyone. During Movember you can grow your own and get people to donate at Movember.com. The moustache will make you a better cricketer, help men's health, give you super powers, and perhaps get you a job as a selector for the Australian cricket team. Surely that is worth one month of getting food stuck in it.

The only decision you need to make now is which cricketer you want to impersonate. Get moustaching.